So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
