am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
