i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
