i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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