we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Your cock deserves a montage
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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