Don't you send me to vm
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
