Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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