She said her name was "party"
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
do herpes really smell.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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