I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
