I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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