So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
