You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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