it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize