I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
