a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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