Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I believe in your delicious
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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