i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
