just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
