and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
