If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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