We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
