the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
