I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Randomize
