I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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