If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
