We won't sleep together?
too bad you live with your parents still
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
