My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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