she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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