He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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