pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
