I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
