She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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