This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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