Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
