i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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