My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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