the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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