can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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