And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
