your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
