we're chasing vodka with high fives
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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