Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
