I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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