You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
