She's JV to your varsity
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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