I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have fence marks all over my body
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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