Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
