You made me cry and you don't even care
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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