like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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