you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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