Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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