What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
