oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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