i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
