Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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