I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
