I'm so fucking centered right now
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
