mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
